Your Expectations…

I don’t talk much,
Not about the past anymore,
Not about how X hurt me, or that I went through Y,
I don’t speak of all the pain, struggle, the number of times I have wanted to end my life, end it all for good,
But that doesn’t mean I’m over it,
That doesn’t mean I don’t feel,
That doesn’t mean I don’t know your pain,
That doesn’t mean anything.
Stop your mind from jumping to conclusions,
Stop your ego from judging me.
My story is mine, I will share it if I need to,
And I’d only need to, to help lighten your load.
I don’t need it to hold grudges or blame,
To whine or stay stuck in a moment long gone.
I don’t need to prove the tons of things I’ve gone through,
I don’t need your sympathy,
I won’t explain myself for your egos satisfaction.
Free me from your expectations,
Because I won’t, I absolutely won’t live up to them.
– Ramona Arena, 3rd September, 2018.

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Shams and Rumi.

Page 192, Shams (The Forty Rules of Love – Elif Shafak)

 

They say in life, someone needs to come along and make you realise what your full and complete life has been missing all this time. Like a mirror, that reflects what is absent rather than present, this person shows you the void in your soul that you’ve resisted seeing so far.

But what matters most, is finding the soul that completes yours. Seems this is what all the prophets advised: Go find the one that will be your mirror.

Shams was a mirror for Rumi. So, as I was reading this passage, it suddenly dawned upon me. I have been Shams for a lot of people, and I have had a few Shams come into my life. But these are passing ones. Where is’the one’?

According to my interpretation of this, ‘the one’ can only be one with whom you have a constant Shams and Rumi situation. I realised, I have finally found ‘my one’. I am his Shams, and he is my Shams. I mirror in him what is absent, as he mirrors in me what is absent.

Glory be to The One! Whatever you may call Him – God/Love/Creator/Universe/Father/Giver/Truth/Compassionate/All Knowing/All Seeing/Eternal/Omnipresent/Just… Glory be to Him for showering upon me this wisdom. The wisdom to interpret this so. The wisdom to have recognised this, and the wisdom to be patient enough to allow my Rumi, to look into that mirror and finally see that the Shams he has been achingly longing for, is right beside him, for eternity.

The depth of this love is indescribable. This is truth. Just as you grow, you need to be able to help your Rumi grow. Growning together, rising together in ways that can be so different individually, and so soul shattering but it is always beautiful regardless, for you are always together. With this mirror, you are constantly reminded of 2 things:

  1. You must grow, as you acknowledge what you lack
  2. You are never alone

 

My problem is, I am too direct. Perhaps like Shams of Tabriz in a way, but I’m sure he had smarter ways of communicating directly – I  perhaps comes across as harsh or blunt; like I’m launching an attack – which certainly is anything but what I want to do. And so here, my Rumi becomes my Shams – teaching me that I must be more clever and have more tact, when it comes to communicating and dealing with people.

May every living soul on these earthly planes experience this divinity, for love can never be more pure. This is an eternal love. Not meant to be understood, nor necessarily accepted by your closest ones. But you don’t need anyones’ approval. This is YOUR love – no explanations, no justifications. It can make you feel everything and nothing. And thereby, complete.

 

 

***This is my interpretation of this passage from ‘The Forty Rules of Love’ by Elif Shafak. I may be wrong, but this is something that resonated and pulsated very strongly through me as I read this. So strong was it, that I could not even finish reading the chapter. I felt the need to share it, so here we go. Feel free to discuss this. May you find your Shams and Rumi in ‘the one’ mirror. Stay blessed, Ramona. xx***

Ode to Love.

Love!
It’s all that’s on my mind.
Love!!
It’s a power so divine.

Everywhere I turn,
Hearts I find,
Heads resting on shoulders,
Fingers intertwined.

Even statues have held on,
Bringing intimacy to life.
The greatest of all composers,
For you are alive.

Love!
You are so beautiful to me.
Love!!
I am eternally immersed in thee.

-Ramona Arena 2015, 15:00, Oslo.

Sunset.

Sunsets like this
Spell out your name.
The colors vary
But the feelings are the same.

To be wrapped again
In the warmth of your touch
The subtle glow of amber
Through this quiet, says so much.

The strings you pluck
Guitar on my back
The sweetest squeeze awaits
Come home baby, hurry back!

-Ramona Arena 2015.

Love

Love
It’s always about you.
Whether it’s a song I sing,
A tale I tell,
A hug I give.

Love,
It always has to be about you.
So hold on to me tight.
I’m in this with you forever and beyond..

– ©Ramona Arena 2015

**Illustration by @Puuung1 (on Instagram)

Thank You!

Perhaps a good time,
To say thank you.
For all that I’ve been given
For all I’ve battled for, too.

For personal evolution,
Growth forced me to stand strong.
I’m really thankful to people,
To animals, pen and song.

-Ramona Arena, 16th October 2015

Flowed she did,
With thoughts so deep,
All he could do
Was look at her with care.

It mattered not
How far away she was.
All he knew, was for her
He’d be there.

Every ready he stood,
This wonderful soul of man,
Arms and practicality intact.

He stayed and pursued
Who knew patience could woo!
Happiness, has now been defined.

-Ramona Arena, 2015.