Exploring Self Worth…

Sitting at the airport for a few hours the other day, I was consumed with one prevailing thought. Everyone seems to be trying to be someone. You have the business suits, the cool teens, the frequent fliers, the first timers, the couples, the families, the backpackers. Some people dress nice but look so depleted, so sad and forlorn. And that got me thinking about what they really think of themselves vis a vis what they want to be seen as.

The concept of being born for something. A reason. A purpose. To make a difference.

Does there always have to be a reason for it? What about being born to just be?

People talk about making a difference to the world, adding value to it. They say you are born for greatness. To accomplish. To help. To make something of yourself.

What if all of this was nothing but a bunch of lies, possibly invented to comfort someone. Only somewhere along the line, it has now become a universally accepted belief; one that does nothing but put an enormous amount of unnecessary pressure on each of us to ‘achieve’ something. A thing that will justify one’s very purpose of existence!

What if all one ever wants to do is live a life full of peaceful existence? Away from the crowds? What if all that matters most to someone is to love someone – child or partner or… Does this make one less worthy? Less significant? Less deserving? Must the stamp always be on a sheet of paper, that can be framed on a wall, hopefully preserved by generations that follow, as evidence of purposeful existence?

I almost find it alarming that almost everyone on this planet is expected to have dreams – dreams of things they want to achieve. Why should they?

What if one’s dream is to never become a parent? Or what if one’s dream is to be the most supportive, eternally loving and understanding spouse to their partner? Why does that automatically raise eyebrows or make people assume that this person is weird, submissive, spineless? Is it not an ‘accomplishment’ to love? To love for loves’ sake? No boundaries. No motives, no hidden agendas, no divisions. To just be the greatest giver of love (without intending to be)?

Why must we be ambitious about goals and materialistic things? I may be perfectly happy living my life without fighting for things and attention, reducing this constant need to struggle, to push, to compete; in order to be or have something deemed fit by society. Does that make me a loser?

We seem to have forgotten a most essential thing to our core – we are not defined by things we have/got/made/accomplished. Or in today’s world, by how many likes or followers we have. We are defined by who we are.
So really, who are you?

-Ramona Arena 2015.

Advertisements

Good Morning Heart of Mine.

Good morning heart of mine,
I wonder if you’d fancy a walk with me,
On cobblestone roads, secret wooden paths
Illuminated by the warmest rays, piercing through leaves and bark.

Where gentle, the breeze of silence,
Promises you undivided attention,
Where serenity grants you security
To unabashedly reveal your affliction.

I’d like to hold you if you’d let me
So I can lead you to trust
It’s a place where you’ll be loved for who you are,
Not for what or for benefit or lust.

Abuse was only a teacher,
That showed up to help you grow
But you seem to be touched so deeply by her,
You refuse to let her go.

Believe again oh dear sweet heart,
Plant seeds of forgiveness and fly,
Amongst the eucalyptus and wild chamomile,
Dance forth to the beat of your own creation,
For you are still alive!
©RAMONAARENA2014

Too Much to Handle?

I’m not promising that I’ll be easy to be with.
All I can promise,
Is that I will love you,
Like no other can or ever will.

That you’ll revel in every minute of the fact,
That my hand is the only one clasping yours.

That I’ll be the sturdiest path you’ve ever set foot on,
And with it, I’ll be the silence in the chaos, you struggle to seek.

I’ll be the voice of honesty,
Without caring if you can’t stand my song.
I’ll smother you in affection with attention,
Constantly in public, and at home.

I’ll be a ride so crazy,
You’ll have had your fill of theme parks.
I’ll be the dance of motivation and lazy,
For the battery of your happiness,
I’ll be your permanent recharge.

It’s easy if you really want,
All you have to do is let go.
Of everything and everyone,
That’s done and dusted, years ago.

The mind is a tricky place,
It festers and likes to breed.
My heart is your saving grace,
Don’t be a fool, just heed.

But remember this clearly,
Remember this straight,
I won’t stop living,
Cuz you keep me on wait.

Whenever you’re ready
To behave like man
Despite all my shortcomings
To love me as I am.

Pick up the phone,
The move lays in your hands.
I’ll be everything you’ve prayed for,
With a bonus of good madness, for all your lifes’ plans.

– RAMONA ARENA 2014

Hello Gorgeous!

Oh yes, You!

You are so beautiful,

You don’t even see!

Your relevance,

Such significance

It’s almost uncanny.

You shine and glow,

But you won’t believe.

For you let the fog stay put,

In the guise of fear; insecurity.

If only I could lend you my eyes

To see what you really are.

Vulnerability is an appealing truth,

We’ve all misjudged for being weak.

And why do you interrupt your

Pretty, beaming smile?

Happiness is a worthy friend,

Consult your inner child.

We all have fragile hearts

That’ve been smashed to smithereens.

We all deserve much better now

So smile, love, breathe.

To be alive in a world with you

Is such a wonderful gift.

It’s one you must realize,

Without further ado, be swift!

-Ramona Arena 2014.

Hide.

Who are you?

Standing there in the shadows

Of filthy streets, of urban treats.

Who are you?

You that hides in the darkest cloud of gray

Cooling, watching.

Why are you?

A peeping mass,

Drowning deep, a lumpy carcass.

I see the gutters

You be hiding in.

Even rats for you, do weep.

-Ramona Arena, 13th September 2015, Mumbai.