Heroes..

(**PROFANITY ALERT**)

 

All of you heroes

You wannabe knights in shining armor

Think you can rescue a damsel in distress…

I have 2 words for you –

1. Fuck

2. Off.

This stupid game of pretend you play

Is my daily reality.

Fully convinced only you have the secret code to remove the spell,

Only you hold the magic key to release the curse,

Your kiss alone, shall rescue the princess!

Breaking news for you,

It can’t and it won’t.

Fool yourself, but I see through.

This is not from your heart –

Not even good intent

So spare me your illusion

The speech of unshakable love.

It’s your lame man ego is all –

The hunter that rules the house;

The one in the drivers seat that needs no directions;

The one that can fix everything, never needing to ask for a hand.

Keep running around your own house

With your super hero cape and mask.

Wash your dirty hands.

Rinse that filthy mouth.

I’ll say it again –

I see right through you

No. You cannot fix me.

I’m not a fucking experiment

I’m not a fucking toy

I’m not an exciting riddle to crack.

Don’t wanna be your muse either

To be tossed on a whim, into the trash.

See unlike your inner coward

I actually do invest

I traverse all my millions of fears

Believing in your best.

But this cold blooded creature now,

Has built an unrecognisably hard shell,

Retracting  within a second

Cuz your ‘commitments’ fail the smallest test.

So I say this yet again,

With much respect

Fuck Off you heroes

You ain’t got a chance in hell.

– Ramona Arena 2016

Everyday

  

Para ti, Ramonita..

Mucho ruido y pocas nueces.

Hoy, el 14 Diciembre. Un años.

Donde es el dios?

Donde es nuestra vida?

Si, no hay rosa sin espinas.

Pero yo veo solo muerte para mi.

Todos es negro.

Perdón?

Paciencia – ja ja..

Amor – ja ja ja ja ja..

Disfruta nada, listilla Ramonita.

El corazón es ciego y estúpido.

Y para siempre es suyo.

– Ramona Arena. 14 December 2015.

Depression

I am depressed.

Life has failed me yet again.

Each time, I dusted the dirt

It threw at my face;

Stood up on my feet

Pushed myself

Back into the race.

But this time life wins.

I am firmly convinced

There is no God.

No mercy.

No respite.

 

Only one truth exists:

Good things don’t happen to good people,

They’re just given a mere glimpse of it.

Life dangles the sweetest carrot,

Finally offers a most promising bite

Only to take it away,

Smiling proudly.

I crumble

Into this wreck,

A morose being walking

With the stench of death.

No energy left to fight,

Only motivation to cry.

How I abhor myself.

I hate my life.

I cringe at my existence.

I’m dispicable and vile.

Congratulations life.

I hope you’re celebrating nice.

 

 

-Ramona Arena.

12 December 2015.

Death Song

Verse 1

I cannot wait to die

Biggest fool in the world am I

They call it a blessing

But I’ve been cursed with life.

 

When oh when am I ever gonna die?

 

Verse 2

I’ve never despised myself more than I do right now

I’ve never hated my strength more than I do right now

I’m such a waste of space

Can’t even take my own life.

 

When oh when am I ever gonna die?

 

Bridge:

Fuck this pain

I’ve had too much

Broken, cold

It’s beyond enough

 

Verse 3

Let bullets fill me up

I’m dead but my breath won’t stop

All I want is to die

Life’s a sadistic bitch, makes me cry

 

When oh when am I ever gonna die?

 

 

 

 

Friday, December 11^th, 2015. Worst fucking, piece of shit day ever.

Ramona Arena.

Answers that I seek and want,
Do their best to evade me.
Another sunrise shows up,
To taunt, humiliate me.

My very existence,
Is that of a hollow drum.
Broken strings,
Warp a Gibsons perfect strum.

Beguiled,
Forlorn,
Pages from the midst of my lifes’ story,
Gone.

Must we always finish each chapter,
Or is it trivial paltriness?
Market shares wouldn’t feel the plunge,
Of a carefully crafted mess.

Unable to connect,
Vacuous as death,
Desperately floundering,
Life, I’m bowing out of your test.

-©RamonaArena2015

House of Abandon

I knew everyones secrets.
Protected them through storms.
Never let any harm come in;
Witnessed generations born.

And I stand empty today,
In this state of naked shame.
Because you got greedy, wanting it all.
Starting a war in my name.

– Ramona Arena 2014.

#justsaying

I said it.
Plain and simple, I did.

You didn’t actually accept that I know myself.
That I know what I want,
I know what I need,
What it takes to make me happy.

So you pursued and chased.
Insisting, you’re on the same page.

Your relentless behaviour
Had me succumb to belief.

Now I’m left standing in a lake of my salt,
While you’re out there laughing.

You’re living the dream,
When did the ‘our’ get a ‘y’ before it?

I don’t like being that low down on your list.
I don’t like it at all.

-Ramona Arena.

To Bow Out.

Answers that I seek and want

Do their best to evade me

Another sunrise shows up

To taunt, humiliate me

My very existence

Is but a hollow drum

Broken strings

Warp a Gibsons perfect strum.

Beguiled,

Forlorn

Pages in the midst of my lifes story,

Gone.

Must we always finish each chapter

Or is it trivial paltriness

Market shares wouldn’t feel the plunge

Of a carefully crafted mess.

Unable to connect

Vacuous as death

Desperately floundering

Life, I’m bowing out of your test.

Axiomatic Evolution

This game you played

Had no set rules

Except that you win

And my faith gets abused

 

Yes You!

I think it’s time we said goodbye

Don’t care if you can’t hear me

To douse this flame- it’s time.

 

Hopping on my toes,

Since the ground I’d known was burning

I’d be safe here you said

But the blender started churning.

 

I’ve spent too many nights

Sleeping on nothing but hope

I believed the food was coming,

Your promise was your joke.

 

So goodbye old love

I’m walking on ahead

Gotta leave behind the existence

Of false hopes and dread.

 

You penetrated so deep

The friction’s left me sore

The virgin you found

Has quit being your whore.

 

-Ramona Arena, April 28 2014, Mumbai.